The Bloods, The Crips, The Sparrows

Sweet Jesus I would hate to be a bird. Not only would I'd be forced to eat dirty segmented worms and crunchy dead bugs and old fast food that fell out of the top of a dumpster at Sonic, but have to deal with having a beak... with no teeth... and a tiny bird brain. I think the major reason I'd hate to be a bird is because I would totally get my ass kicked. Most likely I would be a scrawny bird, with bird legs, I'd be the puny bird my bird friends would make fun of. I am in the office reading fox news and there is some major shit going down in the tree out front. Birds everywhere tweeting and squawking and pecking each other. Why on earth are they so pissed off? There is no cat in the tree, and things look to be fairly calm outside. They are all the same kind of bird. Oh! Maybe it's a gang of birds, yea, and one of the outsider birds wants to join their gang. What if they are jumping the bird!? Do birds get "jumped" into a gang? I'm laughing. You know how people in prison ( I am terrified of prison, but addicted to the prison documentaries) can only join a certain gang if they've killed before? Maybe that's whats got all these birds freaked out, they are in the middle of a gang initiation. I bet they whittle weapons to use too, and dip the tips of their sharp sticks into poison berry juice. I bet they are ruthless. Well, they have to be, listening to the drama taking place in my front yard. Now that I think about it, maybe I should have baked that package of 10 cinnamon rolls on Sunday to share with the family, instead of baking them this morning and having eaten 5 of the 10 before 3pm. I'm afraid it's messed with my sugar level and has perhaps made me a tad crazy.