Whole Or Half A Brain?

Dear Lord. I've done something terrible. I am, however, remorseful. My action has severe consequences. I'm experiencing those consequences as I type.

Scenario: I crave a snack. I meander to the kitchen and open the door to my pantry. A billion options hit me in the face. Muffins. Cookies. Breakfast bars. 3 minute mac-n-cheese. Raisins.
No, none of this will do. I need my Frosted Flakes. I understand morning has passed, that fact doesn't deter me from pouring a large quantity of flakes into a bowl. I meander to the fridge. It is at this moment I realize this morning when I hauled the girls to HEB because we were out of milk, I ended up coming home with $50 worth of groceries and totally forgot about the milk I drove there for in the first place. *dammit* I have a beautiful bowl of fresh, crispy frosted flakes waiting patiently to be devoured. My eyes meet the large bottle of unopened half and half on the top shelf. It is at this precise moment I make my terrible mistake. I grab the bottle of half and half, tear off the foil lid and fill my bowl. I head to the bar and pop a squat on the bar stool. Using half and half might seem weird to you, but growing up my grandmother put half and half in my cereal as well as drowned my oatmeal with it every morning for breakfast. My body was used to it. WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD. Assuming that all would be well, I ate my cereal pretending nothing was strange and that I would get used to the ultra creaminess of it all. I never got used to it, but I did in fact finish the bowl because I'm a complete fucking idiot. HOLY SHIT. I am now in half and half hell. Do you know what ingesting like 8 ounces of half and half will do to a persons body who is no longer 7 years old and not used to it????????
This post will not include pictures. I won't do that to you. Use your imagination.