Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Grace's Magic Trick and a Journey into Another Dimension

Enough is enough you little toot. I give up. Now show me your trick.

I've sat Grace down several times this morning to get her to tell me where on Earth she put the remote for the living room TV. She answers with: "What's That" and then Mooooo's at me. It's gone. Disappeared. Vanished into thin air. We checked trash cans, toy bins, drawers, under couches, laundry baskets, it's NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. The remote for our bedroom TV doubles as a replacement but it won't work the volume. We actually have to walk ALLLL THEEEE WAYYYYY over to the set to adjust it by gasp! hand. Torture. Thank God we have the other one because if I was unable (God forbid) to get to channel 150 for Little Bill or Max and Ruby - the kids would over throw the household and we would be at their mercy. We don't want that. No. We. Don't. So, until we find the remote or order a new one I will continue to walk 8 steps there and back, way out of my way, 15 times a day to adjust the volume. I'm unsure how much longer I can actually function under these conditions.

Speaking of functioning under these conditions, when we returned from out of town Sunday afternoon we expected to walk in our front door to find my mom half dressed and disheveled, chasing Grace around, and for the whole house to be in disarray. No. Not so much. Instead we walked into a strange scent I didn't recognize.........candles.... And air freshener. And that fluffy fabric softener smell. Oh how I love fluffy fabric softener smell. Mmmmm. And jazz music playing from the television. WHAT KIND OF CALM SHIT IS GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE AND HOW COME I CAN'T MAKE THAT HAPPEN???!!! OR BE HERE WHILE THAT SHIT IS HAPPENING?

My laundry was all folded perfectly on the dryer, every inch of kitchen counter was twinkling from lemon-scented 409. Shit straight out of the Twilight Zone.

5 comments:

Annemarie said...

Ok people....as much as it sounds like it's NOT that big of a deal to walk to the TV to adjust the volume....after being at her house for one night, I will back Kara up here and say that it IS!

Imagine being all comfy, watching the NOGGIN network, and then a commercial comes on...and we all know that the volume on commercials is louder than that of the show you're watching....and you have to get up to adjust this - ugh - it's just a royal pain in the you know what!!!

So..Kara....keep looking, I hope you find it soon! I feel your pain!

The Gath Family said...

Please send your mom to my house...pronto!

Julie said...

Um yes, I'd like to borrow your mom as well please!

Anonymous said...

must be nice...

Jenni said...

Wow. I still can't figure out why Huddy isn't afraid of the vacuum. They hardly know each other.