Say it ain't so. This isn't suppose to happen. I'm not ready. It's way too soon.
Ava was in her bathroom with the door shut, playing Beauty Shop with a million hair bands and bows. I was in my bedroom watching The View that I dvr'd this morning. Slippers was sleeping. Joey was licking his you-know-what. All of a sudden...Boom. IT happened. And things will never be the same.
During nap time, Grace decided to get all "Mary Lou Retten" and flipped her little body right out of her crib. In the few seconds before it happened, I could hear her calling out for "Don-tee" which is her stuffed donkey and then I heard a very strange cry. I bolted into her room and found her on the floor in front of her crib, disoriented and very shaken up. She stood up, threw her hands into the air and took a bow. Just kidding about that last part, but for real y'all... THIS AIN'T GOOD. Ava was in her crib until (I'm embarrassed to admit) she was over 3 years old. It never crossed her mind to get out and we exploited that innocence as long as we could. Grace on the other hand...is a total dare devil and would jump her tricycle over 15 school buses if she could find a really long ramp and get going fast enough. She ain't skeered.
I, on the other hand, am scared out of my wits. What do I do now? How do I keep that little tart in her crib at night? She's not even two years old people! I can't just move in a big-girl-bed and tell her "Nitey Nite honey!" and shut the door behind me! She's gonna sneak into my room at night, stand right beside the bed in the pitch dark and whisper "MOMMY, I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!" in my ear and I'm gonna knock her in the head with the alarm clock, cuz OMG she just freaked my shit out! Then CPS will be all, "you're going to jail you evil child beater", and OH GAWWWD WHAT DO I DO????
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8 comments:
Oh my!!! That little girl is going to be the next Evil Kenivel...or however you spell that!! I think that you and Terry need to create a new crib...one that is so high that she will never be able to get out of it. And that you'll need some extra long arms to put her down in there when she goes to bed. Oh, Kara, I hope you figure it out!!!
I have two words for you.
Crib.Tent.
Google it. It will save you from accidentally beating your child over the head with your alarm clock. :)
K.Y.L.I.E. J.R.
...hehe
I am laughing so hard! Maybe you can find an auto-treat dispenser to put in her bed. I don't know what you can do!! She'll be sleeping in your bed in no time ;-)
YES! A treat dispenser! She loves cat treats! She eats them when Joey licks and leaves them behind! Great idea!
p.s. my confirmation word id 'praple'. Cute word! I've had 3 glasses of wine.
Eh - just let her sleep with you!
Hee hee - no, I hear those crib tents work well? I don't really have good advice - Hudson never slept in his crib, only his pack and play in our bedroom and once he could climb out of that we got him a toddler bed.
crib tent, crib tent, crib tent!
Dog cage, dog cage, dog cage.
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