Enough Already. Who Gives A Crap?

Jon Gosselin (Jon & Kate +8) stepping out on his wife. Who gives a crap? The poor guy is berated by Kate and her rooster bawk bawk style hair-do, (grow that shit out!) maybe he deserves to do something that actually makes him smile. And if his boring-as-hell personality and shitteous hair plugs can pull in some action, I say get it on, Jon!

Swine Flu - holy crap the world has stopped turning! Wash your hands, wash your kids hands. Oh and try not to run in front of people with your mouth wide open after they sneeze and sniff in all of their floating little germs. And don't lick the escalator hand rails and the mall.

Miss California - she might be a moron, but she's gorgeous and worked hard learning the art of double sided tape and where to buy the most bedazzled and gawdy ball gowns on the planet Earth. She answered the question! With her opinion! Isn't that what you do when someone asks you a question? There are millions of other people who feel the exact same, cut her some slack people, she's barely 20 years old! And WHY IS PEREZ HILTON A JUDGE AT MISS USA? He's hilarious and stuff, and I admit I love his blog, but really? And now the pageant is trying to dip her in the grease by saying they footed the bill for her new, perky, 5 week old boobies. Who gives a crap! That just makes them look stupid! What's the problem? Do they want them back?

Michelle Obama - for wearing $540 Lanvin sneakers to feed homeless peeps at a food bank. She's the First Lady! Is she supposed to wear dirty, off-white tattered Ked's when she's near homeless people to make them feel more comfortable? Um... Hello!! She's the wife of the most powerful man in the free world. Wasn't her plan to just volunteer and help people that are less fortunate than her? The only thing she did wrong was wear weirdo pink and gray sneakers with a really ugly yellow cardigan.

p.s. did I mention the exciting shizzle going on July 9th? Uh. Mah. Gawd. I just might run up on stage to prove to her my level of excitement and dedication to her and her comedy. I apologize now for any embarrassment I may cause.