Never Have I Ever...

Have you ever been in a public restroom walking toward the sink when an automatic deodorizer-spritzer thing spritzes a wet, misty cloud of fresh fragrance directly into your face? Well let me tell you, it's exciting. Say the word spritz out loud. It made made me laugh too. Spritzing. Spritzed. Spritzle. Oooohh! Something should be named Spritzle! If you have a new kitten and you can't decide on a name... go with Spritzle. It's cute.

Have you ever drank an entire bottle of wine by yourself while watching the Emmy's? Well let me tell you, it's exciting.

Have you ever rolled over in the middle of the night and laid your cheek and part of your bottom lip onto cold wet toddler drool? Well let me tell you, it's exciting. And it stinks.

Have you ever gotten out of your car to get the mail when the the top part of your flip-flop, flips underneath the rest of your foot causing you to bash into the mailbox and nearly dislocate your right shoulder? And then look around, praying none of your neighbors saw it happen? Well let me tell you, it's exciting.

Have you ever been nearly stampeded in the rain by 3 goats with horns and a miniature horse because you didn't know they DO NOT like open umbrellas? Well let me tell you, it's exciting.

Have you ever consumed entirely too much wine while watching the Emmy's that you stand in front of the TV in your bedroom pretending that you've just won Best Actress in a Comedy Series? Me neither.