1. An Australian cockroach noted as heaviest insect in the world: If my real friends know one thing about me - it's that I'm deathly afraid of roaches. Dead or alive. Babies, adolescents, adults. Whatever stage of life they are in, they are disgusting little creatures. They have shimmery, greasy wings that want nothing more than to fly into curly hair and lay frothy eggs. Guh-ross. When I lived with my grandma in my early 20's, (don't laugh, we had fun) I ran down the stairs screaming there was a roach in my bathtub. She came upstairs and took one square of toilet paper off the roll, reached in the tub, grabbed its crunchy exoskeleton and ran toward me with it. I squirted her face with a can of aerosol hairspray and told her I would push her down if she came any closer to me with it. She laughed. I was serious.
2. My friend Laura: She just gave birth to triplets. TRIPLETS. GIRLS. THREE OF THEM. AT ONCE. God love her. She's accepting Tylenol PM gift baskets.
3. Jon Gosselin: He's still a dirt bag, just wanted to keep you in the loop.
4. Quentin Tarantino: HOW can people stand to listen to this annoying babbler?! His movies tell amazing stories themselves, but when he was on Conan last week, he attempted to tell a story about him and Brad Pitt in Pitt's living room drinking 5 bottles of wine together and it made NO SENSE and OMG I was so embarrassed just listening to him. I couldn't bear to watch. He might be creative and brilliant, but from 1 to 10, his dork-o-meter reads at an 11.
5. HBO Series, Hung: I love it!!! Because of the acting. Perverts. And because of Lenore.... she's such a bitch! But she's a witty bitch, who's smart. Everyone loves a smart, witty bitch. She cracks me up. I love Ray too. Cuz he's way hot. And his show is called Hung. And I might dream about him at night. And Honey, if you're reading this, the previous statement is pure fiction.
6. Chris Brown: He's still a dirt bag, just wanted to keep you in the loop.
7. Grace's name for muffins: "Nuffins." I pretend I don't hear her ask for them, and make her say it a bunch of times. Nuffins might be the cutest word ever.
8. The Duggar's are having their 19th child: Obviously, she's addicted to the Demerol drip after labor. I mean REALLY? 19 children? How whacked is her uterus by now?! How does her body even know when "it's time?" Does her uterus even contract anymore? I doubt it! After baby #13, I think she just hears crying and looks down to find a newborn squirming under the covers.
9. The Fresh Beat Band: If I have to hear that damned song one more time I'm going to throw myself onto an old rusty paring knife. For serious.
Tiny Dancer from Kara on Vimeo.
4 comments:
Nuffins! ;-)
I can't wait to see you guys this afternoon!!! I love all of you nuffins!!
She is too cute! Lucas used to called them vuffins. :)
OMG- nuffins is my new favorite word.
Like: I have killer nuffin top.
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