My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't concentrate.
I can't have kittens of my own, cuz I've been fixed.
(Which hurt like a BITCH, by the way.)
This tiny chipmunk in this tree is all I think about lately.
His two huge black eyes are tugging at my heart strings.
He needs a mother to love him. I must adopt him.
Come to Momma you adorable sweet furry darling.
Sit here in between my bony legs and my droopy fat sack.
I will keep you warm, and safe from harm.
I praise and thank the Heavens for you, my new chipmunk child.
I shall name you Chocolate Chipmunk.
Uhh, Slippers? What is this thing that just crawled out of your fat sack?
It hopped over here and tried to bite me.
It was a bite and run! Bitch, you BETTER run. I'm comin' for you.
Don't try to scurry under that ottoman, you little shit.
Damn! Chipmunk has HOPS! I see you up there. And my mouth is watering.
I bet you taste guurrrd. Come to papa.
Oh Snap! Bitch made a jump for it!!
GOTCHA! ROWARRR. RRRRROWWLMMSLURP.
Mmm, tastes like chocolate.
5 comments:
I think you might have lost it....but I loved every minute of it! :)
Terry said he's admitting me into a mental hospital when he gets home from work. :( :)
Oh. Mah. Gawd. I love your brain.
That is hilarious!
Those pics of Slippers are so funny! It looks like she has a pouch.
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