Good Night. Sleep Tight. Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite.

I should have never opened that damn email. I should have never read those reviews. I should have never stared at every single traveler's photo. I should have never thrown up in my mouth a little bit.

Before you see what I'm talking about, go pour yourself a piping hot can of spam-n-beanies, pop open a cold Old Milwaukee and plop your ass on your dirty old lazy boy. That should get you good and ready for what's to come. Because if you actually eat spam-n-beanies and drink that dirty beer, you'll feel right at home when you read this. Oh, and I challenge you to refrain from throwing up in your mouth a little bit. A whole bunch of times.