How full of shit are you man?! Trying to fool us by designing a label with pictures of vanilla beans, fragrant white flowers and frothy milkshakes with whipped cream squirted atop?? Are you kidding??
Do you think there's even 1 milligram of actual vanilla bean or magnolia essence or whipping cream in this shit? Wait, I know the answer to that question. Because I drank a bunch last night and had the pleasure of having another healthy portion for breakfast this morning. I drank all 450mLs of it and it certainly didn't come close to the lovely goodness that the label suggests. It tasted like chalk, metal shavings, wet toothpick wood and sweet-n-low were thrown in a blender and pulsed on high until it formed consistency of wet cement. Doesn't it sound delightful? I gulped it right down.
Actually, I tried to gulp it right down. As Terry was standing next to me, we pretended it was a "road block" on The Amazing Race and all I had to do was gulp it down in 1 minute and AWESOME! I would win a million dollars! I tried that... um... until right before it hit my top lip... the smell made it's way into my nostrils and I gave up on the Amazing Race. I totally lost a million dollars. Sorry honey, don't be mad.
It took me 30 minutes to drink last night's portion. I drank this morning's portion in 10 seconds flat because the girls were almost late for school. Barium burps are way gross. FYI.
You can imagine how excited I was when the doctor gave me an entire new glass of exciting vanilla milkshake to drink when I arrived this morning. I tried to tell her I already drank what they'd given me and OH GAWD there must be some mistake. Before I took a sip I told her about the whole Amazing Race thing and she laughed and nodded her head, so I laughed too and drank it all. Then she told me she'd never seen the show.
2 comments:
What did you have to drink it for?
Dude. I thought it was for your cat. WTH is going on? Are you okay?
P.S. My word verification password is: hotratic
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