The Dreaded Four Letter Word

LICE.

I threw around a few four letter words of my own, after finding out the girls had it.

The girl's woke us up giddy as can be on Christmas morning, and after ripping through presents and piddling around I sat the girls down to fix their hair for a visit to my sister's house later in the day. Grace had been scratching at her head for days and days, at that point, but honestly after peeking in her hair I figured dry skin and winter weather were to blame. It wasn't until I pulled up Ava's hair when I noticed a cluster of small red dots at the nape of her neck.  I took a closer look, then promptly shit my pants.

Christmas morning.

Lice.

Two children.

CHRISTMAS MORNING.

To make a very long story (what? I'm dramatic?) short... Terry saved us. He stripped every body's sheets, bagged clothes, pillows, stuffed animals, disinfected, washed at least 15  loads of laundry over the next several days, and didn't blink when I had a complete breakdown filled with tears, snot, and whining to my sister on the phone.

I remember standing in long lines with other kids in my class having our hair picked through by the nurse in elementary school. I never had it as a kid. I knew lice were gross, but really never knew what to expect if I were to see any. I imagined them as minuscule, itty bitty bugs things stuck to strands of hair. I know that is true.  But what is also true, MORE IMPORTANTLY, is the fact that I forgot those minuscule, itty bitty bug things stuck to strands of hair were PUT THERE BY THEIR PARENTS. And holy shit, I saw some major parental activity in Ava's hair.

Bugs and I don't mix y'all, and bugs and HAIR and I definitely don't mix.
Hence the aforementioned breakdown.

This is where the breakdown began. Not really knowing what I was looking for, I noticed a dark spot on Ava's scalp and stuck my finger next to it to give me a better sense of what it was and the FUCKING THING SCURRIED AWAY FROM MY FINGER.

Now, as the mother of the child whose head I'm inspecting, at this point I should have remained calm, dealing with a fellow drama queen - but I couldn't help it and panicked - which did NOTHING TO HELP THE SITUATION. Once Ava realized there were 'bugs' in her hair... um... well..Merry Christmas to all and to all nightmare for the next days to come.

Are you itching yet??

I'm itching.

I hope it's only phantom itching. Because if I get lice, I will shave my head. There is no way I can go to sleep at night knowing these little see through, pointy headed bastards are crawling all over the place, obviously partying it up in my hair celebrating their own Christmas... AND OURS... because they took our Christmas celebrations away.

Soooo, no leaving the house on Christmas Day. Which the girls were THRILLED about!

And no visit to my Aunts Ranch the next day. Which the girls were THRILLED about!

Oh, and happy vacation for Terry! Hey honey, we need more laundry detergent.

Apparently, without our knowledge, Grace suffered through the lice. We caught hers at the very tail end. Ava needed the NIX stuff, and that did a lot of damage to their population. Within 48 hours, it was pretty much under control and we were back to normal life.

I have pictures, wanna see!?