I enjoy leaping out of gift bags with great momentum.
I enjoy disappearing under the couch then scaring the shit out
of people when I re-appear on top of their unsuspecting feet.
Also, the mole on my nose needs to be checked out. It's starting to look a bit atypical.
I'm very bendy. The lady ferrets love me.
This is my blue leash. It's a harness actually. Which cracks my shit up.
The other thing that cracks my shit up is the fact that I suddenly become paralyzed when my leash is put on.
People try to wear me like a scarf and make me perform tricks.
I don't like that shit, so I pretend I'm gonna bite their faces. And they freak out.
But then they grab me as hard as they can and squish my fragile little face against
theirs - so I pretend like I'm giving kisses.
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