Even Curious George Isn't THAT Curious

1. *WHO  in the HELL would do that?

2. *WHY?

3. *WHY  in the HELL would you do that?

*ANSWER KEY:

1. Grace and Ava.

2. Because they are 3 and 4.

3. Ahem. Because they are 3 and 4.

Just like every other afternoon, this particular one I found myself wandering around the house, picking up tiny disasters left from living with two children under the age of five. I heard the girls in their bathroom. I do a walk-by and find Grace on a step stool (there is a certain irony in the term: step stool) talking to herself in the mirror, and Ava is behind her, going potty.

I leave them alone and continue picking up their messes around the house. (There is a certain irony in that phrase.)

Hysterical laughing is now coming from their bathroom. Followed with an "UH OH" and a "OH,WOW!"

Hearing those three things, coupled with the fact they are coming from TINY PEOPLE who are in
A BATHROOM, I became immediately concerned.

I marched in there as fast as I could and found the most.disturbing.event.EVER had taken place just moments prior.

If you do not wish to find out what the most.disturbing.event.EVER is, then you best X out of this Internet window.

The girls were USING A FLASHLIGHT TO LOOK AT AVA'S POOP AS IT SAT IN THE BOTTOM OF THE TOILET.

I'm sorry if you just gagged.

I'm even sorrier if you gag again when I tell you not only were they looking at the poop as it sat in the bottom of the toilet, but they put the flashlight INTO the toilet to do this. I found out that Ava dropped it DIRECTLY ONTO her poop, in order to shine the florescent beam of wonder onto her under-water excrement.

I KNOW.

THERE ARE NO WORDS.

Please be advised, just as a precaution... try to wait at least an hour or so before eating anything after reading this. I wasn't so careful and tried to eat a chocolate chip granola bar a little while ago, and well - IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA. This disturbing scenario is likely to replay in your head several times, because after all, it IS the most.disturbing.event.EVER.

And what's so shitty about it (besides that hilarious pun) is the fact that I'M the one who suffers after something like this happens. Not YOU. You just gag and then move on with your life. This is ETCHED into my brain. A burning beacon of blue light illuminating something that should NEVER BE ILLUMINATED.

The horror!!

My children aren't the one's who suffer from this event happening either. Sure, I shuttled their tiny butts down the hallway and into their room's and promptly slammed their door's. But I'm the one who had to get the damn flashlight out of the toilet!

Poor little Ava can barely stand to touch anything even remotely dirty, so you can imagine how the punishment of simply holding the plastic bag with her poop covered flashlight inside, was difficult for her.

And as an extra punishment, that she will only experience when she's old enough for Internet access,
I present to you: