Come In! Please Excuse The Rotting Pumpkin In The Livingroom.

I love a good train wreck. I love a good, hot mess. I really do. I love reality shows, confessional shows, intervention shows, all that stuff. Anything showcasing people who are screwy, unbalanced, whatever, I love to watch. Who doesn't? Oh hush, you know you do too.

Ok. So. On Monday night, Terry and I caught the premier episode of the new A&E show Hoarders. And hot diggity dang you guys, these people are freaks!! I've heard of hoarders and seen Animal Planet episodes of people that have houses overflowing with hundreds of cats and there's fur and feces and crazy-eyed cats leaping from counter to counter, but this show actually lets you in on the fruitcakes themselves.

And speaking of fruitcakes y'all. Keep a bucket close by, because the episode we watched had us gagging and dry heaving on the couch. One lady was a food hoarder. She lived alone. She bought food, mostly fresh vegetables and fruit, and just never used them. Or would use a little bit of something then stick it in her fridge in the vegetable drawer and leave it there. For months. And months. And months. And it would decompose and basically melt from it's own rotting juices then she would go and peel off the outside 'bad part' and eat the rest. I will pause while you throw up a little bit in your mouth. Or throw up a lot. Cuz that shit's gross.

She also was a completely filthy person who had all kinds of crud in her house, furniture everywhere, and you should have seen her kitchen. There was not a 1/4 of an inch of empty space on her kitchen counters. It was all old food and rotted bananas or tomatoes. She had 2 year old sour cream in her fridge and when they asked her why she'd kept it, she responded with, "What's it gonna do? Go SOUR?!" B.A.R.F.

She had a clear plastic container of cornmeal or flour or something, and showed how she would only get rid of it after she saw traces of bugs inside. She added that anything that needed refrigeration was good indefinitely, because as long as it didn't "puff up", it was still okay to consume.

The camera crew came across a year old pumpkin that had been decomposing on her hardwood living room floor. They picked it up (while wearing gas masks and gloves) to show it to her, as it was dripping rotted liquid onto the floor, she attempted to pick a few seeds out of it - saying it was such a beautiful pumpkin she couldn't bare to get rid of it without keeping some of its seeds.

Grodie to the max.

I love it.