Don't Be Shy! Come On, It's Tee Tee Time!

This year is the very first year I've shopped almost completely online for Christmas presents. Amazon has delivered nearly every single present under my tree. This morning while on their site searching for things having to do with 'travel', I somehow stumbled upon... um... this Christmas must-have:

Big deal.

So it's just a PERSONAL URINAL.

Except it's also just a PERSONAL URINAL.

And the pictures of the product are the best part.

Here's my favorite:

Look! It's easy and durable enough for even a humongous horse to pee into it from nearly a foot away!

Then all you have to do is pray all that horse pee has turned into gel, and flip it upside down to see if it worked!

How can this company even market this like it's a serious item?? I read a few of the reviews and a lady that drives almost 70 miles to and from work bought hers because she "doesn't have time to pull off the highway and walk into a restroom."

She states she "simply unrolls, positions it, and goes!"

Well, VIOLA!!

This shit must be easy!

So the next time I'm driving to grandma's house with the girls, there's no need to pull over when I feel the urge. I can simply focus on the road while I dig through my purse, find my urinal, take out the lip stick tube that fell inside of it, unroll it, drive with my knee while I pull off my jeans, wiggle down my underwear, take both hands off the wheel to place my trusty personal urinal against my body and then ....AHHHHH.

That IS easy! And SO SAFE!

And then of course, hurry to pull everything back into place before a semi-truck driver pulls up next to me and wonders what the hell I've been up to.

In my opinion, there are only two types of people on this planet that could POSSIBLY need a plastic bag urinal. Those that are bedridden and don't have the means to get up and travel to the potty, or bat-shit crazy lady astronauts involved in a fatal attraction with a co-worker astronaut. And that bat-shit crazy lady astronaut missed her chance when she decided to drive cross country with an adult diaper on, when CLEARLY, the perfect choice would have been the Personal Urinal.

It's so much more dignified than a diaper.